i heart city life

i was at metro last night and this girl walked in, probably about my age, with an older lady. they actually fell into the bar. susanne went up to them to take their orders, but she couldn’t even understand what they were saying because they were so drunk. she got the owner and told him she wouldn’t serve them and that he needed to handle the situation, but he took their order and served them instead. the girl then spilled her drink on the table and started lapping it up. gross. she then tried to order another drink, but susanne said they couldn’t serve her any more because she’d had enough to drink. the girl started yelling, “then i’m going to steal this glass. i was already going to, but now i’m really going to.” then she fell. again. then started crying about the war in iraq. then a jack johnson song came on and she started dancing all over the bar… clicking her heals on the floor. i couldn’t tell if she was going for spanish sevillanas or river dance. but she fell a few more times. then we found out that the older lady, who is legally blind, had no clue who the girl was. she was drunk too, but one of the regulars, tom, knew her and took her back to her place (which was right across the street). meanwhile the drunk girl was running around in the street and falling down and several people from metro were trying to help her find her home, but we resorted to calling the cops because she was just such a mess. so then there were like 6 of us holding her down because she kept running away, then kicking and hitting and biting. she also kept screaming “fire!” susanne risked her teeth by taking off the girl’s shoes. the girl then told me she had intended to rob the old lady. what? this was the second time she mentioned stealing stuff. i think we called the cops 3 times before anyone showed up. gotta love the city. they said we caught them on a “shift change.” good thing no one was shot on the “shift change.” the girl kicked one of the cops. they then walked her home, which was like 5 doors down. ridiculous! all on a sunday night.


2 thoughts on “i heart city life

  1. Brian L says:

    Okay, I’ve gotta fess up. That was me in drag. What can I say, I like bar glasses and stealing from old blind ladies. Everyone’s got their hobbies.

  2. lauren says:

    you’re ridiculous.

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