online dumping

i was a little surprised the first time i got an email saying, “there comes a time in every relationship when one must decide whether to continue or move on… so-and-so has decided to close communication with you for **insert reason here*** at this time. we feel it’s important for you to have the opportunity to respond, should you choose to do so.” that’s a paraphrase. anyway, i was like… ‘i got dumped?!? but i don’t even know you! i haven’t even read your profile yet!’ but then i was like, ‘wait a sec, this means i can clean the losers out of my inbox. woohoo!’

i’ve been on a cleaning spree.

every day, around 3am, i get a new crop of matches. usually 5-7 guys. the matches are ridiculous. today i had 5 guys from georgia. georgia? next they’ll be matching me with peeps in oregon! two of today’s matches also happened to be 40, meaning they are closer to my mom’s age than my age. unfortunately, that’s not one of the reasons you can select for closing a match… “lauren has decided to close communication with you because she thinks you ought to date her mother.” and really, i wouldn’t let them date my mom. i’m just making a point.

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5 thoughts on “online dumping

  1. Anonymous says:

    It’s amazing to see how some people maintain adventure in their life. Like thru “The Experiment” after adventurous travel to Africa. I bet your readership has also bounced back. Keep writing, makes interesting read.

  2. Sheesh! I feel so OLD now…That being said, I know the routine. I tried eHarmony a few years ago with similar results. Inasmuch as you’re approaching this whole thing as an “experiment,” you can’t go wrong.

  3. E1st says:

    You can change your radius for matches, you know. You can make it so it doesn’t go all the way to Georgia. Go look through the options.

  4. lauren says:

    oh, i know, i gave it a much smaller radius than the results it’s yielding. i guess i’m a challenge 🙂 also, eric, i can’t believe they didn’t accept you. you will be quite the catch one day. i think they’re starting to wonder why they accepted me.

  5. Anonymous says:

    i remember telling you (when you were in high school) that you could use me as an excuse to get out of any uncomfortable situation…..i just never thought it would be online dating.

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