i was driving up to virginia earlier this week (where i am now, visiting family) and i couldn’t help but contemplate the differences in this thanksgiving and the last. for one, my whole family (including both divorced parents) came together for the first holiday in almost 3 years. that was definitely cool. and easy. and natural, even?
but really, what got me thinking, was listening to african music while driving a car (something i didn’t have last year) by myself (versus a jam packed bush taxi) on very smooth paved roads (no pot holes) through the mountains (not the beach) on a cool fall day (no 60% humidity here)!!
the music took me back to a very different place and time. the always present feeling of sand between your toes. the never very cold beer. the lost sense of time. but what was it that made it feel so very different? not these details… something less tangible.
finally it occurred to me. i think it was this feeling of being in a forgotten land. kinda feeling like you don’t matter. not in a bad way. just in a all-that-matters-is-this-moment-and-how-i-live-it kind of way. here, it’s always what’s leading to the next thing. there, the next thing won’t come along till you’re finished with what you’re doing now. it’s very very different. and so distant. like you’re not just in a different geographic location, but a different time altogether.
sometimes i really miss it.
which isn’t to say i don’t appreciate the paved roads and time spent alone thinking in the car, fully equipped with a seatbelt.