lauren laughs

(actually, 3 weeks from NOW) i’ll be on a plane to benin, west africa.

camp friends are the best

ah, camp. people look at me weird when i break out into the weenie man song, but kim know’s what’s up. kim and i worked at camp mystic together when i was in college. though we’ve probably only hung out a total of 2 months in our entire lives, we’ve been friends ever since. she was crazy enough to ask me to sing in her wedding nearly 3 years ago (i thought she was kidding till i saw my name listed as “ceremony soloist” on her wedding website!) and she and scott together were crazy enough to pick me up from colorado springs, drive back to boulder (where they live) friday night, drive 7.5 hours to durango saturday and back again sunday just so i could see my brother. granted, we got to see a lot of pretty country in between and they had wanted to drive to durango at some point anyway, but still… pretty darn gracious friends considering how rarely we get to see each other!! kim and scott are pictured in front of colorado dunes. i’m still not sure how all that sand got there.

farwell little bro

so stephen is working in durango for the summer and won’t return to virginia until after i’ve left for benin… meaning, this was goodbye. he’s living in a camper outside my uncle gerry’s house. it’s pretty sweet. you’d be surprised how nice a camper is on the inside. plus free meals from gerry and his wife vickie… yum… biscuits and gravy for breakfast. kim, scott, stephen and i went to pagosa springs sunday to hike around for a bit. stephen reminded me we had stayed there as little kids with my parents and grandparents before pierce was born (i think). we played in the paddle boats on the lake there. ah, memories. anyway, all this rambling is to say that my brother and i are really close and i’m going to miss him a lot. i love you stephen.

a few more pictures in my album.

today’s missionary training included a hostage-taking simulation. first we were hiding out, then we were caught, then we had to choose which 3 hostages could be let go, then we were told they couldn’t go and that we had to choose 2 people to be executed. i volunteered because i don’t have a family back home to worry about… no one depending on me. the guys said they didn’t feel comfortable with a girl getting shot. so i stayed put while tony and nick were taken. we heard two shots fired. our captors came back and demanded two more hostages to be executed. gabe and i both got up to go. i had to push people out of the way. it was all a blur. i laid on the ground… two more shots fired. the simulation ended.
the strange thing is, i was really at peace about being killed. i mean, i knew i wouldn’t really be shot, so that’s part of it, but i felt that it was better for me to be shot than anyone else in the group. and as i waited on the ground for the shots to be fired, i thought of everyone i’d be leaving behind… my friends and family… and i really trusted that they knew my love for them and hoped they’d be confident of the peace i felt when killed.
what an odd thing to think about.
in other not-simulated news, that biopsy i got a while back (i posted about getting stitches) yielded “suspicious” results. i have to have another biopsy tomorrow to see what’s up. my boss won’t let me leave until all is resolved, so please pray for a speedy and favorable report! gracias.

former baltimoron mollie, aka rockstar (and other nicknames i won’t publish here), whisked me away to denver last weekend. the timing was perfect, as she celebrated her birthday friday. we had dinner with her newly married friends anna and michael friday night, who taught me the glories of whatever that super popular guitar video game is. awesome. i’m a skeptic no more.

saturday we were supposed to hike just a short “2 miles” up to bear lake near mt. evans. now, having been in colorado for only a week, i was a little concerned about adjusting to the altitude… but i figured i could handle an easy 2 miles in and 2 miles out. after hiking for an hour, however, i began to question the distance in earnest. i didn’t ask for clarification, i just kept my slow pace and kept drinking water. turns out we were actually hiking about 5 miles in. ooooh. right. here’s the thing, though: if i had known the total distance would exceed 9 miles, i would have stayed home to read and write thank you notes. if i had known an hour into the hike that we were only half way to our destination, i might have turned around. lesson being, sometimes not knowing is a good thing. in this case, it kept me from underestimating myself. i wonder how many other times we could say that about life? my guess is, plenty. maybe that’s part of why God doesn’t give us the whole picture at once, as frustrating as that can be at times.

i also met a bunch of mollie’s “scum” friends… peeps she’s met through her church in denver, which is actually called “scum of the earth church.” the name comes from 1 corinthians 4:11-13. they take small groups to a whole new level, with names like “army of dorkness” (that’s the comic book club) and “we’re bad a everything” (full of people trying to get better at things). you can see pics of mollie’s friends (including her ex if you look closely at captions) in my summer album.

so i’m at “missionary camp” outside colorado springs for 3 weeks. i know some of you think, ‘colorado springs… christian mecca! i love focus on the family!’ and others of you think, ‘ew. gross!’ needless to say, as much as colorado is like home to me (after coming here with my mom’s family every summer for years and years), i’m definitely out of my comfort zone. to an extent, that’s the point. i’m here to learn about how to “deal” in other cultures. how to be uncomfortable and be me and be healthy. how to communicate and how to constructively face conflict. well, being with 39 other adults and their 20+ kids is definitely not the culture i’m akin to.
i know some of what i say here could bite me in the butt later (like, if my friends here read my blog one day), but i’m going to be honest about my first impressions anyway. bare with me.

first, let me say, this training is VERY good. i’m glad i’m here.
now let me say, i am a fish out of water! everyone here went to Bible college. almost everyone. why? they’ve known they were called to missions since they were in the womb. well, almost. now i’m sure there are some really great things about Bible colleges. i’m sure i’d learn a lot if i attended one. i know my friends here have cultivated skills that will aid them in the field and i’ll wish i had that training too. BUT… how in the world can you go out into the world and know the world and meet the world and love the world if you’ve studied in a bubble? we talk a lot about building relationships here, and i’m glad we all agree it’s important, but i have to wonder… how are you going to build relationships when you can’t find other christians in the field to be your friends? when you have to branch out? and isn’t that the point??
granted, i’m over generalizing a bit to demonstrate a point. but it is a concern i have. and it does make me exceedingly grateful for my community back home, made up of all kinds of people.
and i welcome your feedback (especially from my friends here, if you ever read this) since confrontation is an opportunity for expression and growth 🙂
pictured are the tracks i cross over to get to the santa fe trail, in my backyard. it’s great to walk out the door and be able to hike every day.

jenny, carolyn, katie, michelle, me, lorraine, diane, laura and amy all met for dinner on the roof deck of carolyn’s house a week ago. we were wrapping up discussions on our book, “revelations of a single woman: loving the life i didn’t expect.” ironically, no one actually finished the book except for jesse (not pictured), who is married. it’s a great book, i just lost momentum. still, i’d recommend it to a friend.

anyway, more importantly, i love these girls. together with christina, anne marie, anna, christy, and others not present last week, we’ve really developed a group of young women who can speak openly with one another about life and faith. i wonder what that will look like when i leave (on august 7, yes, i fly out on my birthday). will i find an authentic community in cotonou? i’m not even sure what this group back home will look like 2 months from now. already, anna and christy have moved to other countries. soon i’ll do the same, along with carolyn and anne marie.
things change even when you stay put.

in response to susanne’s “attacking missionary” comment(s)…
indeed i did wrestle with her at metro. and won, i think.
chris drove all the way up from richmond to say goodbye (and take my vacuum). i like the full beard a lot. he just returned from the sudan… you should see his pictures.
all the hamilton cousins (minus my brothers) got together in san antonio this weekend for cousin catherine’s wedding. here are erin, bev, emily, lily, mere, cat, jamie, me and blake.
and here’s the beautiful bride, but you should go to her photographer’s blog to really see just how beautiful she is. wow. artful stuff.

my life as a nomad has begun. eric, adam and andy all helped me clear out my house on sunday (thanks guys!) and dad drove it all home to virginia.
now i’m living in the basement at farhan and roohi’s (the coolest room in the house) where i get to eat all the paki food my heart desires and i can walk across the street to erin and brians in my pj’s. it’s awesome. another benefit is i can make fun of farhan more often. like the other night when he learned that the 12 days of christmas song does not include a partridge in a pantry. go figure.

i split my pants yesterday.
that is all.

that’s how close i am to being fully funded for the field! ahhh! i got the news just as “share the well” by caedmon’s call started playing on my computer. this song actually helped inform my decision to enter missions. here are the lyrics:

Share the well, share with your brother
Share the well my friend
It takes a deeper well to love one another
Share the well my friend

Do you think the water knows
Flowing down the mountain thaw
Finally to find repose
For any soul who cares to draw
Some kindred keepers of this Earth
On their way to join the flow
Are cast aside and left to thirst
Tell me now it is not so

Share the well, share with your brother
Share the well my friend
It takes a deeper well to love one another
Share the well my friend

All God’s creatures share the water hole
The blessed day the monsoon comes
And in His image we are woven
Every likeness every one
From Kashmir to Karala
Under every banyan tree
Mothers for their children cry
With empty jar and bended knee

Share the well, share with your brother
Share the well my friend
It takes a deeper well to love one another
Share the well my friend

You know I’ve heard good people say
There’s nothing I can do
That’s half a world away
Well maybe you’ve got money
Maybe you’ve got time
Maybe you’ve got the Living Well
That ain’t ever running dry

Share the well, share with your brother
Share the well my friend
It takes a deeper well to love one another
Share the well my friend

click the “feed me” link to the right if you want to share with me in benin… only $266 a month more to go!