Category Archives: Uncategorized

you should start a blog!

the past 2 days, while saying goodbye to the charm city and preparing for life in the big apple, several people have told me i should start a blog. little did they know…

it’s true that “lauren laughs” was a great way to let everyone what was up back in africa… and it’s true that manhattan is like a foreign country… so here we are. day one. blogging in nyc.

sloanie dropped me off at the airport this morning. we both fought back tears. “this is no big deal! i’ll see you next week!!” and i will see her and a host of friends next week at jay’s and my wedding (holy moses), but i still shed a few tears waiting at security, and again as my plane descended to jfk. oh, the life changes! so many.

made it to my apartment. my first thought was, ‘wow. this is even smaller than i expected.’ my second thought was, ‘aww, jay bought me roses!’ and the rest of the day has been filled with similar paradoxical statements.

‘ugh, i’m back in a dorm!!!’

‘wow, everyone is so super friendly.’

‘there’s no way i’ll be able to study in our apartment.’

‘ooh, i like the library.’

‘i’m not cut out for this much cement.’

‘i love the super green campus!’

‘this is home.’

‘i miss home!’

i’m sure the tug-of-war will continue for a while.

in the mean time, hurricane irene is making her way to nyc. mandatory evacuations have begun, but i’m sitting pretty in chelsea. the campus is raised and cloistered, so we’re not too worried. jay has been at work since 6am, and he doesn’t yet know when he’ll get to come home. he knows he’ll be spending the night at the station tomorrow night. needless to say i haven’t done any nesting yet, as i imagine there will be plenty of time for that in the next two days.

i’m kinda looking forward to it.

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self love slacker

this weekend i attended what i thought would just be a lecture on friday night, but enjoyed the speaker and the content so much that i had to re-arrange my weekend plans in order to attend the day-long workshop saturday as well. it was worth it. as an episcopal priest and jungian annalist, pittman mcgehee had some wonderful things to say about the psychology of love (a preview to his book “the paradox of love” to be released in october). there is no way i could summarize the weekend in a brief enough way to hold your attention, so i’ll just leave you with the things that are sticking to me a few days later. (not sticking with me–there’s a lot more of that–just the things that i feel like could be sticky-notes on my forehead).

1. when pittman takes on a new patient, he asks them to pick up two forms of exercise: physical and spiritual. duh! this is sticking to me b/c i’ve been slacking on both, and both are forms of self-love! which was another theme i’ll get to.
2. people really desire 3 things deeply: meaning in general, purpose in particular and a place to belong. true dat.
3. let it be. agape is the “let it be love” that lets you be who you are and lets me be who i am and lets us love just like that. so simple, and yet maybe the most important self-love and other-love lesson to lean on. if i have to please you, that’s not love. if you have to please me, that’s not love. if i have to please myself, that’s not love. let it be, and let it be loved.
4. the “wounded healer” is a metaphor i’ve long identified with. how interesting, then, that Jesus was resurrected with His wounds. what hope for the wounded (ie: everyone).
5. maybe human becomings is a better term than human beings.

anyway, in light of some of these things, i’m going to get back to my 3x a week running schedule, my daily journaling schedule, and maybe even blog more. not because i should, not like a task, but a gift to myself that makes me feel better. at least the running and journaling have that effect. the blogging is more just to help me pay attention to the special and the sacred in the everyday.

today i’m paying attention to the fact that the paintings on either side of me are of charlotte and new york city. coincidence that i’m sitting between the two? they’re the only city paintings in this place. i’d buy them both if they weren’t $750 a pop. looking forward to nyc so much, but relishing every moment left in the queen city. that’s special.

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open valentine year II

After half my emails bounced back (I really ought to update my address book!) I’m posting an open valentine to bloggers and facebook for the second year straight…

So much has happened in the past year to be thankful for. The biggest news is that the “guy” I mentioned last year asked me to marry him.  So I will! At a very small wedding on New Year’s Eve coming up. We are thrilled, our families are thrilled, and perhaps the most excited of all is Pepper. She adores Jay!

Jay synopsis: Jay is the supervising news producer for the CBS affiliate in Charlotte, finished in the top 1% of the Boston Marathon last April, placed 3rd in his age group in the Richmond Marathon this November, loves music and harmonizes with me in the car, hales from the village of Newark in upstate New York (where he is a local prank celebrity), and is a born and bred Packers fan.

I also mentioned last year that I had entered the discernment process to become an episcopal priest. After 18 months of interviews and prayers and many life lessons, the bishop granted me Postulancy for Holy Orders. Being a postulant just means I get to go to school to be a preist–Yay! There are still lots of steps before becoming a priest, though… so more on that in years to come.

As for where I’ll be in school next year–I’m waiting to hear back from my first-choice school: General Theological Seminary in New York City. I checked the mailbox this afternoon in hopes that I’d have news on that front for this (already day-late) Valentine, but nothing yet! Regardless, the plan is for me to go to school this fall, finishing my first semester without Jay while he finishes out his contract in Charlotte (boo!) We’ll be married between semesters so Jay and Pepper can join me sometime between January and March. We’re excited about starting our marriage in a supportive community of faith at seminary.

And that’s the scoop! I did take a group of 34 kids to Nova Scotia on pilgrimage this year, traveled to the Bahamas with Jay for my 30th birthday, spent a week on Lake Ontario at Jay’s family’s cottage, attended several best friends’ weddings (singing in two of them), celebrated several births, and celebrated my granddad’s 80th birthday in Texas with every single aunt, uncle and cousin on that side of the family. It’s been quite a year, with lots of love to celebrate.

I pray that you too are celebrating love every chance you get. May we all find even more love in our hearts this year than we knew we had, remembering Proverbs 15:17, “A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate.”

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square one

this morning, i came to the end of my street and had to make a decision… left? or right? left would mean a 4 mile loop that i like better. right would mean a 3 mile loop. 3 miles. that to me feels like a cop out. i don’t want to say that i’m too good for 3 miles, but if i’m honest, i think that’s probably what’s going on in the back of my head. still, i’ve been unable to train for the past 4 months. my running has been inconsistent, at times painful, at times scary… it really stopped being fun… just as it was getting to be really fun! just as i hit a 5k pr of 23:42, i literally ran into some health issues that would knock out an average of 10 days of training a month. after months of tests, dr’s appointments, acupuncture and patient encouragement from jay, i think it’s safe to hit the road again… just in time to train for half-marathon season.

so i ate my slice of humble pie this morning at turned right, opting for the 3 mile loop at an easy pace. i’m convinced that anyone can be a runner. i’m proof of that. but just because i’ve been a runner doesn’t mean i can pick up where i left off. it’s back to square one. back to building up my mileage a week at a time, slow and steady, till i’m ready to pick up the pace.

last year i didn’t start training for half-marathons till september. this year i’m getting started a month earlier. if i’m patient, i think i’ll reach my goal and a new sub-2hr pr.

cheers to a fresh start.

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a couple of big wins

a while back one of my kiddos decided to run a half marathon to raise money for parkison’s research. her dad was diagnosed with parkison’s when she was 4, making it hard for him to walk or talk. i told her i’d run with her if i could find 13 donors to support her cause, pounding the pavement for parkinson’s. donors did: jocelyn, jay, patty, lois, grace, wendy, christine, chris, pat, anne, another anne, tim, linda, to name a few.

it was a hard race. sara had been battling a cold, and she hit a wall at mile 10, but she kept on pushing, along with two high school friends reid and hannah. together we talked and laughed and coughed our way through the race, maybe shedding a few tears here and there. sara had a lot of fans on the road, cheering her on.

it was enough that she finished a difficult race, it was enough that she had raised awareness of the disease claiming her dad’s mobility, it was enough that she had raised a good bit of money for research. but when the race was over, the checks kept coming, and at a reception held in sara’s honor last thursday, we learned she had raised over $67,000. absolutely amazing.

saturday saw a couple of wins too. jota ran, and WON, a half marathon. and my girls’ relay team placed 3rd. trophies all around!

but sara’s win is the kind that changes lives. YES.

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open valentine to bloggers and fb

after getting muchos bouncebacks to this emailed valentine yesterday, i thought i better share the same on blog and facebook for all those i missed! love.

It is my custom to mail valentines to friends and family, near and far. But as the list of places I’ve lived grows longer, and my relationships multiply, well… it gets expensive! So please accept this electronic valentine and update as a token of my continued affection. I’ll even throw some pictures in (just click on any highlighted words).

The past year has been a doozy, in a good way. Here are the highlights…

I continue to love my job as a youth minister. The kids and the church are awesome. Last year I took two ski trips, a beach trip, mission trips to Costa Rica and West Virginia, and I led a Pilgrimage to Ireland. It was a lot of travel (10 days in Ireland feels like 100 when you’re taking care of 37 teenagers!) but I got by with a little (or a lot of) help from my friends. And the best part: countless Moments of Grace. Nothing like a lack of control to help you see God right in front of your nose.

I love life in Charlotte. Though the city is lacking in diversity, it is over the top in hospitality and activity. My friends here introduced me to a number of new hobbies, including my first two triathlons, first two 10k races, and first two half-marathons. My family thinks it’s hilarious that I, the nonathletic child, have become a runner. Who knew? Chalk it up to peer pressure, in a good way. I’ve got an awesome Monday night girls’ group–we read books and pray together. I’ve got an awesome Thursday night girls’ group–we drink wine together. Got to love balance. I don’t just hang out with girls, though… there are boys too. One, in particular. And he’s a yankee (gasp)!!

The two most exciting and daunting pieces of news are Pepper and the Priesthood. Pepper is my dear sweet dog. A 2-yr old German Shepherd Lab mix I rescued her last March; she is the love of my life. She cannot get enough love, nor does she ever run out of love to give. She barks at boys and likes sweaty shoes. I didn’t think I could handle the responsibility of a dog, considering all my travels, but my friends have made it all possible. It takes a village. As for the Priesthood, I entered the discernment process to be an Episcopal Priest last fall. It’s a long process, complicated, exhausting, rich and life-giving. Depending on how things go, I may start seminary in Fall of 2011. Maybe I’ll know by next Valentine’s Day… in the mean time, I appreciate your prayers!

No matter where you are this Valentine’s Day, I pray that you know Love. Uncontrollable, no strings attached, unconditional, radical, unstoppable, mindbending… God LOVE.

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ain’t no stoppin’ church

i was a little concerned when i hadn’t heard from anner this morning. i was getting ready for church, and thought maybe she had decided the blizzard ridden roads of b’more were too treacherous. i could have walked to church, i did every week when i lived here. but anner had to drive from the other side of the harbor. at 8:06am, she called, “i’m here. i’m early.” of course. never doubt a girl from minnesota.

so we drove to church (after anner tried to push someone down the street by ramming their back bumper, per their request…) and found only one other person there. “guess we’re not having church?” i said. “i just saw pastor, he said to go sit in the choir loft,” said a woman i didn’t know. and we did. maybe 20 of us in our jeans and boots walked (or squeaked, in my case) up the aisle to the very front of the church, up to the choir pews, just right of the altar.

now, i have to say that this sanctuary is a special place for me. first, it’s beautiful. the man that designed it was one of the 3 architects of the national cathedral, so… awesome. but it’s also a place i used to have a key to when i lived here. i’d come to the church 30 minutes before our girls’ book club every sunday night to get ready for the rest of the gang, sitting in the dark sanctuary, just me and the candlelight. it’s a special place too because it’s where, during one evening lenten service, i heard God speak into my heart: “feed My sheep…” the beginning of a call to ministry.

this morning it was special because we were just a handful of neighborhood peeps and two priest. no robes. no acolytes. we were the choir. pastor sabor, who hadn’t practiced the organ since 1971, pecked out a couple of hymns. pastor fritas shared a beautiful sermon about mary’s annunciation and God’s knack for using ordinary people to bring Jesus to the world, something i think about often.

the whole experience was a welcome confirmation of being where i am now, and a reminder that this story i’m living is not a new one. it’s a Great one.

pastor sabor put on a pot of coffee and pastor fritas tracked down some donuts so our gathering could tarry a bit longer. all in all, a beautiful morning. church at its blizzard best.

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13.1 thank you’s

a while back i got this wild idea to run a half marathon (i think it started on the cruise with my girlfriends this summer, when i read an article about endurance training, and thought, huh… i’ve been training for things all year… but endurance… that’s something new…) everyone kept telling me it’s a mental challenge as much as a physical one. my girlfriend jocelita said, “maybe just think of a different person at every mile…” so i filed that little nugget away.

a month before the race, i made a list. i was going to run 13.1 miles, so i chose 13 people that had made the biggest impact on my first year in town. here’s the run-down…

From 2009 Fall

mile 1: aimeesita. 7.48. this was my fastest mile (downhill and pumped up). aimeesita is so many things to me, but she is always my designated hug for the day. without her, i could go a whole week hugless!

mile 2: anniebananie. 8:47. anniebananie shares my office and therefore my craziness. she listens to me whether she wants to or not. sometimes she acts like my mom, but she never gets upset with me. love!

mile 3: chip dinero. 8:42. chip dinero is my mentor. he’s been there for lots of up’s and down’s this year. i look up to him muchisimo.

mile 4: danimal. 9:12 (pace is slowing… uphill). not only did danimal introduce me to sweet pepper bear, but he also taught me to rake leaves and he manages my fantasy football team… which is winning. most generous guy i know!

mile 5: farrellita. 8:40. farrellita intimidated me when i first met her because she is so cool. now she, her hubby and her baby are like family to me. her back porch (with a glass of wine in my hand) is probably my favorite place in town.

mile 6: hi-mey. 9:24. i met hi-mey up at farrellita’s cabin last spring. we hit it off immediately. i love him so much, i introduced him to the best girl i know. and he asked her to marry him. she said yes. and there was much rejoicing.

mile 7: jocelita. 9:13. jocelita is one of the biggest cheer leaders i know. she was biking all over the course on her stylin’ yellow wheels, cheering peeps on left and right. she inspires me!

mile 8: juan. 9:12. juan is my boss. i often say i want to be like all the priests i work for when i grow up, but i especially want to be like juan. he’s got more wisdom and insight than peeps twice his age. and he’s a tree hugger.

mile 9: julia. 9:37. julia was one of my first real girlfriends here. she taught me to ride with clipless pedals, and was there for my first fall. she later told me she was hoping to be the mile that includes the toughest hill on the course, and she was… well… half way…

mile 10: latissimus. 9:55. my slowest mile on the course. in part because it included the other half of the toughest hill, but also because i had to stop and hug hi-mey and wave to anniebananie, who were waiting on the course, cheering for me. YES! latissimus introduced me to 1/3 of the peeps i know here, drove me around the first 3 car-less months i lived here, and then taught me to drive stick when i finally did buy a car. other than dating, he’s pretty much awesome

mile 11: lindensita. 9:37. lindensita’s stretch of the race was actually perfect, as it’s the same stretch we “speed walked” the day i told her i wanted to be a priest. she was the first friend i told… the guinea pig. and she didn’t freak out! linden gets the mountain girl in me.

mile 12: maria carolina. 9:52. mi amor, mc! this chica started the monday night girls’ group that has become my sacred space each week. we have some crazy similarities, meaning she makes me feel understood in a way few people can.

mile 13: sloandawg. i don’t know that i actually stopped my watch when i crossed the finish. sloandawg, i think, has put up with my very worst, and she’s been there for some of my best moments too. she ran my first 10k and my first triathlon with me. she lets me repeat stories over and over, and she put up with the bulk of my culture shock when i moved here. i love her. she’s also engaged to hi-mey.

From 2009 Fall

in the end, i finished the race in 2:00:11. my goal was to get as close to 2 hours as possible, so 11 seconds over is pretty stinkin’ close! i was very pleased. and dad was standing at the finish line waiting for me with a great big hug. as were jocelita and jota.

jota is someone else i need to thank. he has made running fun, as has the whole running club.

sarita also gets a shout-out for biking all over the course to cheer me (and others) on!

lorita too, who could not be there, as she was cheering on her hubby in his first ironman race, but who coached me through every one of my long runs leading up to the race… she’s one of my new favorite people. and her watch, which usually beeps at us when we run uphills, was beeping in my head, reminding me to slow up a little on those uphill stretches.

all in all, it was an epic day, i finally earned a real medal (YAY!!!), and we closed out the festivities with a dinner party for the 13 and their dates. thanks to chef dad.

thank you, thank you, thank you for all who encouraged me along the way, and especially for all who have made this town HOME to me.

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one week away from 13.1

last week i ran 10 miles with the best running partner in the world, who i’ll call lorena. sadly, for me (but lucky for her hubby!) she’ll be gone next weekend when i’m running my first half marathon. but her hubby will be running his first ironman, so that’s a much bigger deal, and, you know, they’re married. sooo….

anyway, 10 miles last week was good. it was strangely hot and muggy, on a rainy october morning, so i did something i never thought i could around mile 7.5…. i took off my shirt. now, i’m not going to go running around in my sports bra all the time, it’s still not how i roll, but i will say that loosing the shirt really gave me a second wind!

because lorena knew i had big plans for dancing my face off saturday night at julia’s wedding, and she knew i was going to do so in high heals (which is almost as strange for me as running shirtless), she suggested i give my legs a little ice bath. we bought some ice (i still owe you $5 lorena!) and i went up to my bathroom. here goes nothing. filled up the tub with lukewarm water, poured in 10lbs of ice, squealed a little, but stuck it out for 10 min. i think the water should have been a little colder, but i think it helped.

then it was party time. and though i brought flip-flops to change into once i got my dance on, they stayed in my purse, while i kicked it in the high heals. who is this woman in my body?? so weird. still i had a blast.

till i woke up sunday morning, not with a hangover, but with the sorest left quad ever. i could barely walk down the stairs. i figured it would feel better monday, but no.

so what did i do?

i got a massage.

my first ever male-massage from some dude named byron with really big hands. it was a little weird at first. i had to bite the inside of my cheek for the first minute or two to keep from smiling or laughing, but big-hands-byron worked his magic, and i was much more mobile when i left. whew.

went to yoga tuesday, got my butt kicked, but still felt ok on the quad.

finally ran 5 miles thursday, and my quad was a-ok.

practiced yoga again today, and i think i’m set for another 10 miles tomorrow! then it’s one short run next week, lots of rest, and BOOM, i’ll be a half-marathoner on saturday! assuming i finish. that’s my only real goal. would love to get as close to 2 hrs as possible, but finishing and having fun is much more important.

i’m pretty excited. i can’t believe i have come to like, maybe even love, running. never say never.

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it’s official

i just registered for my first half marathon.

i’d been putting it off, just in case… thinking i’d wimp out at some point. but the (sad) truth is (sad only because i’m proving myself wrong…) that i actually enjoy running now. 7 miles 2 weeks ago was hard. 8 miles a week ago was easy. 9 miles this week was fun. and even my little 5 mile runs on tuesdays and thursdays are getting faster and easier.

my peers have a lot to do with it. a few weeks ago i ran a 10k and came in 97th place. all my friends were TOP finishers. but because i had PR’d by 8 minutes (setting a new personal record that was waaaaay faster than my 10k in april) my friends cheered me on like i had won the whole thing. i felt like a champ.

and i’m meeting new people too. some girls i’d never met before are now running with me on tuesdays, which a) forces me to get out of bed, b) pushes my pace, and c) expands my social circles. my saturday running buddy is my favorite, though. she makes the time fly by!

so i’m super psyched for november 7. thinking i may even sign up for another in december. ridiculous.

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